How I Learned to Be Confident in Korea
I learned how to be confident in Korea, holding my head high, high heels announcing my presence, steps echoing in a still-quiet subway station. I learned how to be confident in Korea starting with lip tint – for the moisturizer, then lipstick – it was a gift, now BB cushions, oil cleanser, concealer, and double lash mascara. I learned how to be confident in Korea hearing unearned affirmations praise for physical traits previously disregarded an anthem now follows in my wake: Small face Small face Small face Your face is SO small! I learned when confidence fails me in Korea, when despite heat and oil, my hair stretches her frizz high and wide rebelling at the worst time, on a morning missing mascara. When the office is quiet, save for a hello or two, critical eyes pass over my hair, face, body and say nothing. Yet in crucial moments, a warrior emerges sword lifted high against stereotypes, gender roles and fat-shaming rhetoric – relics of my code of honor. False confidence shed and armor donned, I catch battles at every turn, from bus to lunchroom, in sight-seeing and church-going but I in my righteous fight am far outnumbered. The warrior retreats. So I slip back into my new confidence, and on a day when I’m dressed up nice, I slide open the office door and announce my presence, counting down the seconds until the first compliment confirming that I am indeed Beautiful. Monica Heilman is a 2014-2016 ETA at Yeongdo Girls’ High School in Busan. She previously taught at Gimhae Jeil High School in Gimhae, Gyeongsangnam-do.
Stretch
There’s a particular joy in overcoming In fighting to find calm In working to appreciate. Tadasana Arms raise up Then collapse at the heel There’s a joy in difficult circumstances In breathing through the fear In feelings so strong your stomach hurts. Notice how discomfort is different from pain. A foot lands softly on a rubber mat Strong and stable There’s joy. Maeve Wall is a 2015-2016 ETA at Sadaebucho Elementary School in Daegu.
Three Poems
by Sam Moser, ETA ’14-’16 seoul station i stepped in and said “Hi.” “Seo-eui Elementary School.” And she said “So-wi Elementary?” I said “Seo-eui” again and she said “Seo-wi?” I said no you see “Seo—eui.” She laughed and repeated “Seo-wi.” “Sorry.” I leaned in “Seo—“ Big Breath and “—EUI.” “—hwi.” I smiled and said “Seoul Station, please.” dear coffee dear coffee metronome of life i swear all oaths upon thee may your caffeinated currents outlive Styx and may when i die Priam place a truffle on my mouth and pour a latte to the dust august moon full and wise august moon full and wise like a vagabond priestess flicked holy water at them, purple and smooth, from her crystal aspergillum across the young night and down blessing the lovers who kissed under umbrellas and the ugly frogs too