Inner Dialogue
By Diana Inguito, ETA ’20; Photo by Lulu Johnson, ETA ’20 6:30 AM: “Diana, wake up. Come on, we’ve been over this a million times. Discipline!” “This loud American is being too hard on you again. You can sleep in for 50 more minutes. You have time.” *while yawning* “I’m going back to sl…” I slowly drift back into my dream. One by one, Filipino food reappears in front of me. First, Chicken Adobo shows up. It is a dish marinated in soy sauce and vinegar and then sauteed with paprika, oregano, and garlic. Next Shrimp Sinigang appears. It is a sour and savory soup that is often associated with tamarind. Finally, I see Turon, a dessert made with bananas, dusted with brown sugar, and wrapped in a crispy spring roll wrap. The smell of savory, sour, and sweet fill the air, reminding me of home and the smiles and laughter on the faces of my loved ones. 7:20 AM: “PUT THE CHICKEN DOWN! It’s time to wake up!” *whining* “But I miss Filipino food! Korean food is always spicy and sweet. I want the sour and savoryyyyy.” “I know. I know. But you need to get ready for work.” Reluctantly, I remove my blanket. The cold morning air shocks my body. removing hints of slumber that remained. My favorite part of my morning routine is eating breakfast. My host mom is a sweet fashionista who makes the best Korean dishes. Originally from Seoul, she chose to live in the countryside to keep her family away from the unhealthy societal pressures of the city. She wants them to pursue a life of happiness, and every day, she carries this motherly warmth that reminds me of my mom. 8:15 AM: “OMG I smell egg and soy sauce. I hope 엄마 (eom-ma: mom) is making 계란밥 (gae-lan-bap: egg, rice, soy sauce, sesame oil, and sesame seeds)! Let’s pretend to fill up our water bottle and check.” “Skip the passiveness! Just ask her directly!!” “Similar to Filipino culture, we have to use our 눈치 (nunchi- ability to read the room or perceive the positive or negative energy in the room). Right now, you’re both under time pressure, so asking directly will scream, ‘Hurry up!’” The smell of 계란밥 lures me into the kitchen while I tightly carry my water bottle in front of me. I greet my host mom a good morning, and she invites me to sit down for breakfast. My taste buds dance with delight, and 엄마 tells me that we will have dinner with her friend tonight. Afterwards, I head off to school. 8:25 AM: *Sigh* “I wish my shoe cubby wasn’t in such an awkward place. It’s so embarrassing holding up the entire line just to switch into my indoor shoes. The weight of people’s stares haunt me everyday!” “QR Code Diana. Take out your QR Code.” “Oh right, I have to scan in.” I walk up to my 교무실 (gyo-mu-shil: office). The 교무실 is big. There are about 40 of us in the office, so there is very little privacy or personal space. This also means that they can hear when my stomach is growling for food and see when I am on Netflix watching movies. 8:35 AM: “Find the vice principal. Make sure you greet her first.” “Okay.” “Oh and don’t forget to greet the head of the English department. He’s such a kind man and treats you so well. Did you bring him the Filipino beer he really likes?” “Yes, it’s in my bag.” “Okay, be discreet when you give it to him. People are always watching, and we don’t want them to give the wrong impression.” As soon as I walked in, I made eye contact with my vice principal and then my boss. I bow and then greet them good morning with a big smile and wave. Afterwards, I head out to teach my classes. 8:45 AM: “Game! Game! Game! All they want to do is play games.” “But it’s the 2-3 class. They’re always so good and engaged! It’s hard to say no.” “But you played a game last class. You need to do the book lesson you prepared.” “Hmmm… Okay, let’s compromise. Let them know that you will play a game if they finish their classwork early.” My students keep me busy until lunchtime. I teach 22 classes a week and have around 280 students. My school asked me to focus on English speaking and listening, so I divide my lesson plans between book activities, games, and cultural lessons. 12:30 PM: “Shoot it’s pork today! Aww I thought it would be Shrimp Katsu!” “WAIT… Diana look! They prepared a separate meal for you! In the US, you would have had to bring your own lunch!” “OMG My heart is so overwhelmed! They’re so kind… but now I also feel bad because I can’t express my gratitude enough.” “Don’t worry Diana. If you can’t communicate it with words, you can do it with actions. Remember how Filipinos would give presents all the time? We can stop by the bakery tomorrow and grab some pastries to give to them.” “Yeah, let’s do that!” The lunch ladies made me fried mackerel. I enjoy eating my lunch, making sure to finish all of my food to show my appreciation. Then, I head back to teaching and lesson planning. 1:30 PM: “For next week, I think you should create more vocabulary and speaking games.” “Hmmm… but I also haven’t taught them a cultural lesson in a while. What have we covered so far? “American High School, Fourth of July, Astrology, Tipping Culture in the US, and the Black Lives Matter Movement” “Remember when they were shocked that most people tip 15-20% of their total bill?” “YES! I remember one of the students saying, ‘Teacher, I no eat. I no tip money.’” “HAHAHA Let’s do a cultural lesson. It’ll encourage the students to speak and utilize the vocabulary they know.” “Okay! Halloween is coming up, so we
You Won’t Feel This Way Forever
By Mailé Nguyen, a first-year ETA in Gumi Sarah Baber, “Heart,” Mokpo She had a habit of holding fond memories so tight that they plagued her thoughts in darkness. She was afraid of the passage of time and saying goodbye. She took pictures of everyone to pause them in laughter so the year would never end and neither would our time together. She didn’t want to forget or be forgotten. What if I go back and I regret it? She asked. I told her, You can’t stay here forever. It’s hard to say if things would be better or worse. Her heart is so big, I understand why she’s so sad to see people leave. People in her life would come and go, but so would she. Will it ever be as good as this? She asked. I said, You won’t feel this way forever. Her loneliness would subside, and she would continue to love outwards. So many people will be loved by her. She will remember the good moments and let them exist peacefully. And we will not forget her.
Station Thoughts
Hana Yi, “Night Bridge” By Pel Doski, a first-year ETA in Docheon I’m sitting here in between where travelers wander. At my feet turtles ponder, I count ten or maybe fifteen. A headless woman hops ahead and tiny elephants parade With huge rabbits playing his stead, behind them a party cascades. I’m floating here in between two worlds like a quiet bathroom in a loud house party abloom, when grass has morning sheen. I blink to the trumpet flares as winding witches whip past and bells scream in the air, the end to our wait at last. I’m sleeping in the in between. My head lulls slowly on a heavy shoulder. His hair greying as I grow older As I become the former queen. A tired wind holds my hand. and a solemn voice cheers a kind and familiar kind of demand “Safe travels dear”